We’ve been having fires here, where I live, for the last week or so. The closest, as I write this, is about 10 miles away.
People have been evacuated, and there may be a storm brewing that will bring more lightning — that could very well start more fires even closer to us. But even from 10 miles, the smoke has been awful, to the point of aggravating my breathing.
On top of that, there are other life stressors like, of course, COVID-19, family issues, working on this project… so this morning, I woke up feeling that anxiety.
I do a breathing and meditation practice every morning, but this morning I decided to go a little deeper, to just sit and get really, really quiet. When I get deep into that silence and quiet inside, it’s like sitting at the bottom of the ocean instead of swimming at the top where the waves are coming in heavy.
Trying to make it on the surface when the storms are kicking in — it’s exhausting. Kind of like living life on your own.
But we don’t have to do it on our own. That got me thinking about why we need a higher power in our lives.
The fact is, the Western world is very machine-oriented. We value productivity. We build machines and create computers to produce faster and faster. Then we compare ourselves to these machines, and we’re surprised or we suffer when we realize we’re not as “good” as a computer.
We need to be reminded to go back to our inner nature and the life force that’s inherent in it. Existing, in itself, is being part of the life force energy. This life force is far more powerful than a machine.
That life force is what brings satisfaction, joy, serenity, and peace — the inner richness you need to counteract the stressors from living day-to-day in a culture that’s focused primarily on value production. When we tap into it, we can ask for help, ask for someone or something to walk through the pain with us.
“Higher Power” Doesn’t Necessarily Mean “Religion”
When people conflate a higher power with the god of one particular religion or another, the essence of that higher power gets covered in belief systems, bureaucratic structures, and a lot of other junk that doesn’t really have anything to do with it at all.
In that way of thinking, the concept of god is restricted by dualities and dichotomies. Good is heaven, and bad is hell. God is either a loving entity or a punishing one.
In this sense of god, there are conditions for love. And when there are conditions around love, people — those with addictions, especially — can’t depend on that love. They’ve likely experienced people taking love away from them based on their actions. That might even be a childhood trauma that imprinted them at a young age.
That’s why the concept of god and higher power are so emotionally charged, particularly for people who struggle with addiction. For people who go into recovery, the idea of a higher power tends to become a wall because they naturally have trust issues.
That’s not what we want when it comes to having a higher power in our lives. A higher power is not there to judge you or to tell you whether you’re good or bad.
Instead, think about the higher power as a force that created everything as energy. Energetic matter that takes on different forms — energy doesn’t change, but the forms do.
The Energetic Life Force
Energy particles are in constant movement, recreating themselves into new forms. As I inhale, I’m breathing in some parts of other people or the universe. As I exhale, I’m letting go of energy.
This mysterious and incredible transfer of energy is relative to life force — life force is relative to higher power.
There’s something else going on here that is way beyond what we can understand. We’re all in this together! On a cellular/material level, everything in the universe is interconnected and inner-woven. Why wouldn’t I want to tap into the resource (higher power) that will help me be available to this mysterious system that provides unconditional life force energy?
Don’t let your interpretations of the word “god” limit your blessings. You don’t need to ask for a higher power’s forgiveness. You need to simply be, get quiet, turn off the ego’s chatter and believe, even know, there is something else out there beyond yourself that you can tap into for unconditional love and support.
How Connection to a Higher Power Can Bring Peace
It’s worth acknowledging that there’s a legitimate reason for addiction. It’s, in some ways, a very effective method for numbing the pain and trauma of our lives — at least at first. The first drink can make us feel peace and comfort that numbs the pain. Our self-consciousness shuts down, and we can even turn into another person if we wish.
People choose this “magic” elixir and often stick with it. But what if there was another way?
Instead of choosing something that allows only fleeting comfort, try going inside. Go to that place that many people look for. Tap into a resource that is bigger than us. Find a way to start to get quiet!
Finding the Higher Power Within
I have gone to a higher power through prayer. I wanted to know if something was there, so I screamed out to the universe. This is a call outward for connection with a higher power.
Many of us grew up with the Santa Claus prayer: “Please give me a new bicycle,” “Please make Molly better,” or whatever. That taps into an energy of its own, it has a place, but for me?
For me, prayer isn’t just outward or inward; that kind of dichotomy doesn’t work here. It’s about getting to a place where I can accept what is.
Thank you, God, for everything. For the fires. For COVID-19. For the stress. Thanking God for the chaos is a completely different trip.
That’s when I go quiet, go into peace, go into just allowing things to drift away — the things in the layers of belief systems and attitudes, in responsibilities and burdens. I sink and everything lifts.
When you tap into the source, focus just on being what is.
Confronting Painful Feelings
The hesitance to surrender to a higher power can be terrifying. And, just like addiction serves to numb the pain and thereby, perhaps, saves our lives, fear too has its purpose as a buffer between us and everything that causes us pain.
So we avoid confronting our pain. We get angry and blame others to cover the pain.
But feeling the pain — walking through the pain — is necessary for healing the trauma. In my many years of clinical experience, I’ve never known anyone to die of a feeling. People die because they’re running away from a feeling.
Until you heal the trauma that’s imprinted itself inside you, it will be very, very difficult for you to give up all the things that numb the pain of it.
The Collective Energy of Community
The Get Unstuck program isn’t AA — but there are some powerful ideas in AA that Get Unstuck roots itself in. So what makes AA so powerful?
AA is the largest group of people who don’t like groups. Addicts want to do things for themselves. They don’t want to trust others, and they don’t want to ask for help. Ironically, the solution is to be a part of a group! To tell the truth, share who you truly are, reveal your vulnerabilities — that’s when then the magic happens.
When I started going to AA, my heart told me that I belonged there. I just knew it. These meetings were essentially a bunch of people sitting in a room talking and bitching about life, but there was collective energy beyond that.
At that point in my life, I was so full of shame I couldn’t look people in the eye. When you’re simply surviving and suffering, it’s not natural to put yourself in such a vulnerable place. But I kept going.
Could it have been a higher power that helped me to stick with it? There’s certainly nothing human about it — no gregarious leader, no big downtown buildings. There is nourishment that comes from the human connection and support I found within AA, and after a while, the ‘cup’ inside of me was starting to overflow. I was tapped into a fountain.
The most important part of treatment is tapping into what allows you to go beyond what you think you are. If you want to hear about miracles, go to church. If you want to witness miracles come to AA meetings. So many people have been dead and brought back numerous times… and they end up living functional, amazing lives without poison.
Ditching your Ego
This morning, I allowed myself to let go of the things that were burdening me. Not just mental but also physical. As I dropped into nothingness, where I go to meditate and connect with my higher power, I was able to let go of everything that doesn’t really matter.
That’s where I tap into a source of loving energy to replenish me and help calm my mind.
Ego brings forward fear and stress and chaos. It’s terrified of losing control. When I can quiet down, I can tune into the unconditional loving energy of the higher power. Then I can see or hear or feel what I want and need more clearly.
By getting my ego out of the way I am making my head quiet. I’m going to that place of silence within. I won’t question why, why, why? Why me? That’s the ego show.
This program is about getting rid of ego, bringing you out the other side with an understanding that your ego’s impression of you was built upon a faulty premise. At your essence, you are deserving of love — and have been since the moment you were conceived. So if you aren’t actually all these things you take on, your successes or your traumas, then who am you?
The truth is that the ego and my self-will and my independence make me come up with things. When that list of options has been exhausted, THEN I try to reach out to a higher power.
So often we exhaust a list of options set out by our ego and our self-will and our independence before we reach out to a higher power. I urge you to turn this on its head. Ask for that help FIRST. Doing so has taken me beyond faith, to trust. Faith is when you don’t have proof; I have proof that it worked every single time.
Call it whatever you want to call it. If I’m asking and I’m open and I’m getting something back beyond my wildest dreams, then… I’M IN!
Letting Go
Surrendering, letting go and handing control over to a higher power will take you through hell — but it will reward you in ways you never thought possible.
There are so many people who have tried this, and the results have been incredible. If I ask and I’m open to receiving what comes to me, rather than trying to control a situation to get what I want, it comes back better than I imagined.
At one point in time, you would have had to force me to do something I didn’t want to do. To go from there to seeing surrender is one of the most powerful, rewarding experiences on a long road travelled!
Breathing Exercise
Start by letting your nerves calm down, letting yourself be quiet. This allows your body to rejuvenate itself and find balance. Our system is so complex, even science doesn’t fully understand it.
Go quiet, and allow wisdom to come to you, or through you. Allow yourself to be with this expanded consciousness. Let your body rejuvenate. Now breathe:
- Breathe in and out through your nostrils only.
- As slow as you can, count to six while you breathe in.
- Count to six while you breathe out.
- Repeat for 5–10 minutes.
The counting helps your mind stay on track. Your mind will always be looking for something to do, so when you notice it starting to wander, just bring it back to the count.
The discipline to do this is part of what we’re trying to build. It starts with a commitment to yourself — that you’re going to take action. That you’re going to do things you wouldn’t normally do… to enhance the quality of your life.
Finding Your Awakening
I am a spiritual being having a human experience.
When you learn this and believe it, it gets everything out of the way. You get rid of all the false impressions the ego holds onto. Then we get back to our true, divine nature, cells brought about by the life force connection.
After my meditation this morning I felt like a different person. All I had to do to shed the anxiety and fear I was feeling was to get quiet, breathe, and let go.
The reality is, most of the things causing that stress, I don’t have control over. But quiet is where I get relief from the stress — and that’s where the suffering is.
Surrender. Find a solution that doesn’t seem to fit into the psychological realm.
A place where you just know.